


Beautiful boy

by Missy3000



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Keith has issues, Lance Has Issues, Mention - Freeform, Mentioned Shiro (Voltron), Panic Attacks, they are being dramatic, they kinda need each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:13:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24877510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy3000/pseuds/Missy3000
Summary: Keith didn't know what to expect from college. But it was certanily not to fall for a guy with fiddling hands and blue eyes, who calls him an asshole on their second meeting. But he does and he falls hard.“Keith?” Lance turned around slowly, his voice slurred by the alcohol. “Have you ever been in a relationship?”They were sitting in a dimly lit living room in a house Keith didn’t remember the owner of, both a bit drunk. Lance a bit more so. It was late. It was early. Most people had left by now. They hadn’t. Lance to high on finally getting Keith to go to a party with him, Keith to intoxicated by Lance’s smile.“You mean in a romantic one?”“Yes.”“No.” Keith said.“How?” Lance rolled even closer, robbed over the living room floor. Keith giggled and Lance smiled and the music went on.“I guess no one asked me.”, Keith said.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	Beautiful boy

“Keith?” Lance turned around slowly, his voice slurred by the alcohol. “Have you ever been in a relationship?”  
They were sitting in a dimly lit living room in a house Keith didn’t remember the owner of, both a bit drunk. Lance a bit more so. It was late. It was early. Most people had left by now. They hadn’t. Lance to high on finally getting Keith to go to a party with him, Keith to intoxicated by Lance’s smile.  
“You mean in a romantic one?”  
“Yes.”  
“No.” Keith said.  
“How?” Lance rolled even closer, robbed over the living room floor. Keith giggled and Lance smiled and the music went on.  
“I guess no one asked me.”, Keith said. Not that he cared much. He was fine being alone. Totally fine.  
Lance eyes went wide, his hand clumsily reaching up to cradle Keith’s face. “But how?” He squished Keith’s face quite a bit. “You are so beautiful.” It was barely a whisper, more a breath. Keith swallowed and Lance leaned over to the other side to throw up. The night was over. 

Keith was in College. “I am proud of you.”, Shiro had said. Keith didn’t want to leave. He wanted to keep working in the garage, the smell of oil, black on his fingertips, the roaring engine. He wanted to stay. But people go to college and so did he. “I am so proud of you.”, Shiro had said and Keith had said Thanks and Shiro cried a bit when he left. And now he lived in a small dorm room and it smelled like cardboard.  
“Keith.” There was a loud banging on his door. Keith considered to ignore it, to just turn around and let the mattress swallow him. “Keith, I know you are awake.”  
“You can’t know that.” Keith yelled back, but he stood up and opened the door. Pidge flashed him a toothy smile. “Hangover much?”, she asked and slid by him in his room. Keith just groaned and fell down on the bed again. “Lance told me you went to a party yesterday. He was quite proud of himself for convincing you.” Keith just groaned again. 

Lance’s leg was bouncing up and down. “Dude, calm down.”, said Hunk. “Huh?”  
“You are being hyper.”  
“Huh?”  
“Just eat your breakfast. They will come.”  
“Who?” Lance asked, but his voice was squeaky. Hunk just shook his head. “There they are.”  
“Where?” Lance head flew around so fast, his neck should have snapped. “There.”  
But Lance had already seen them; had spotted Keith in his black sweatpants and white shirt, almost hanging of his shoulder. He squeaked. “Stop being weird.”, Hunk said and placed one of his mini cinnamon rolls on Lance’s plate.  
“I found the monster. I made him leave his bed.” Pidge said. Keith groaned.

Keith had arrived to college early. He had looked around the town, tried the coffee and the pizza and didn’t hate it. He had strolled around the campus and imagined living there and he didn’t hate it. He also didn’t love it.  
He met Lance on his third day there. Three days until school would start. “Hi.”, Lance had said, “Will you also go here?”  
“Yes.”, Keith had said and then he left. He had ice-cream in his bag and it was melting. He had to cook dinner. He had no time for a cute boy with a red nose, for blue eyes and nervous hands.  
“Hey asshole.” They met again the next morning. Lance was jumping up and down the steps of the main exit. His jacket was green, the jeans were blue. Furrowed brows and twitching fingers. Keith ignored him.  
The next day a lot of other students came trickling in, like raindrops. Suddenly there were people on the campus. Some were with their parents, some with their friends. Keith saw the blue eyed boy again with a big guy with a soft smile. They were laughing and Keith’s stomach churned. Lance frowned when he saw him. Then he said something to his friend and Keith hurried to get on his way. College would start tomorrow, he had no time to concern him with other people just yet.  
“My friend says you are really rude and I wanted to check it out for myself.”, Pidge had said. It was the second day of classes. Keith had sat down in the back. He was exited for this class. And there was a small girl with glasses to big for her face, sitting next to him.  
“Aren’t you a bit young?”  
“Very rude indeed.”, the girl had said, “I graduated early.”  
“Ahh. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.” Pidge just shrugged. The class started.  
Keith was surprised when Pidge walked with him over the campus. She told him that she was there on a scholarship for really smart kids, that her name was Pidge and that she had a sweet-tooth. “See you next week.”, she said and Keith thought Shiro would be proud of him for making a friend.  
Lance gaped at him the first time Pidge brought him alone. Keith tried to not let it bother him. He tried. He failed. Lance kept making snide comments and Keith nibbled on the popcorn and he missed half the movie. But he still went to the next invitation and the next and slowly Lance became used to him. “You are an asshole.”, he said to Keith. They were standing I font of Hunks dorm room, ready to leave. “So I’ve been told.” Keith pulled his jacket closer and began walking.  
“Hey asshole.” This time he turned around.  
“Yes?”  
“Are you coming to the party this weekend? At Brads house?”  
“No.” Keith yelled and left the building. He had some shopping to do. 

Keith missed the garage a lot. Shiro laughed at him when he told him. “I already see myself dragging you to Christmas dinner with oil on your face.”, he said and Keith had rolled his eyes. But he still missed the garage. He missed being in control, knowing the parts, knowing the feeling, knowing he was doing it right. He felt safe there.  
He didn’t now. Everything was loud and full of people and full of missteps and Lance. Lance who wanted to make him go to a party. “We are college students now.”, he had said and thrown his arm around Keith’s shoulder. “It’s the prime time of our lives. Are you really gonna waste it?” Keith had scoffed. He didn’t feel like he was being in his prime time. He felt like Keith, maybe a little smaller.  
He did go to a party eventually and Lance was beaming when he told him. “Oh man, we are gonna have so much fun.”, he had said and again thrown his arm around Keith’s shoulder and Keith thought it was already worth it. 

Because that was the problem. Slowly but surely he was falling for blue eyes and bright smiles. He was falling for loud laughter and kind insults. He was falling for Lance, steadily. And now he was sitting in the cafeteria, hungover, the ghost of Lance’s words in his ears. “But you are so beautiful.”  
“Good morning.”, Hunk said. “Ugh.”, Keith says. Lance laughs. “Someone can’t handle their alcohol.” Keith looks up and regrets it instantly. Blue eyes, blue, blue eyes crinkled on the edges. “Like you are any better.”, he scoffs. His stomach is making weird sounds. He needs some food fast. “I will have you know, I am perfectly fine.” Lance puffs his chest. Keith grabs an apple from Pidge’s tray. “Yeah, because you threw up last night.”  
“Eww, you threw up?” Pidge is disgusted and Keith steals anther apple slice and listens to Lance defend himself. He hates parties. 

Keith finds himself with a red cup in a different living room not one week later. It was some kind of birthday from one of Hunk’s classmates and Lance said they had to go. “We have to be nice. Socialize. Keith, my buddy, don’t leave me hanging.” Keith had ignored him, but now he is here and he has alcohol and can shamelessly stare at Lance. Lance who talks to the birthday girl, making her all blushing and giggling and Keith wants to spill his drink on the floor just to be mean. He doesn’t. He goes outside. “Catching some fresh air.”, he says to Pidge. “Catching that lung cancer.”, she says. Keith shrugs.  
It is warm outside, warm for autumn. The cigarette in his fingers feels safe, feels familiar. It smells like Keith’s father, smoke and oil and soft words in a rough voice. Keith inhales. Maybe he should call Shiro tomorrow, maybe he will search for a job with cars.  
Not exactly hiding, distancing himself, from the others, Keith wanders through the garden. It’s quite big. Must be a rich family. As a kid the desert was his garden and they had no fence. At Shiro’s they didn’t have a garden, but at the weekends they would take the car and drive out until the buildings only had one store and Keith could feel the air getting fresher.  
He stomps out his cigarette and considers if he has to pick it up to throw it away when he hears a small sound. It’s a whimper, it’s a sob. Keith freezes. He doesn’t want to run into a crying drunk person, he is no good in consoling people. Maybe he should get lance. Or he should get Hunk. They would know what to do.  
The whimpers turn into quiet screams, airy and Keith really wants to flee. He turns around to do so and sees it. Glittering in the moonlight is lance’s shirt. It is cropped, Keith knows this and he will not forget for a few days.  
But now there is Lance, hunched over, silently screaming and it tugs on Keith, pulls on his heart. “Lance?”, he asks softly, stepping closer. Lance only squeaks, the sobs. Keith crouches down. There are tears streaming down Lance’s face, his fingers are clutching the grass. “Lance.” Keith takes his hands, tries to soften them. The knuckles are white and he doesn’t like it. Lance has soft hands and soft eyes and a soft smile. But now he is all clenched and rough and edged and Keith doesn’t know what to do.  
“Lance.”, he all but pleads and Lance’s hands come up to grab Keith’s shirt and his head hits his chest and now he is crying in his shirt. Cries, cries, screams, tenses,. Lance is shaking, like a leave in a storm, desperately holding on to a branch. Slowly Keith rubs his back, holds him steady until Lance is all run out of screams. “I am sorry.”, he whispers, “I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I am-” He chokes on another waves of tears and Keith pulls him closer. They will both get dirty, but that’s ok. Lance is half in his lap and Keith feels the skin of his back. He is cold, he is still shaking.  
“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.”, Lance whispers and Keith also feels like crying.  
Lance calms down. He stops crying and they sit down properly and Lance looks up at the sky and Keith doesn’t dare asking. “Sorry you had to see that.”, Lance says and smiles halfheartedly. Stop saying sorry Keith wants to scream. But he stays quiet.  
“This happens from time to time. It’s worse with alcohol.”  
“What is this?”, Keith asks. His voice feels weird in his throat. “Panic-attacks.”, Lance says and sighs. “I don’t know where they’re coming from.”  
“I’m sorry.”, Keith says. Lance just nods. His fingers are twitching, fiddling with the grass. Keith wants to hold them, to tell each of them that it’s ok. Instead he says: “I didn’t know.”  
“How could you.”, Lance says and his voice is way to calm, way to resigned. How often did this happen?  
That evening Keith cries. How could he not know this was happening to one of his best friends? How could he pretend to be in love with Lance if he didn’t know this? Did everybody know? Was he the only one so… stupid?

Keith doesn’t really like college. He doesn’t tell Shiro. It would make him sad. He probably already knows anyway. He doesn’t like college but he doesn’t regret going.  
The morning after the party Keith stares at Lance while he eats his breakfast. “Are you ok?”, he asks. “No hangover for me. I never get them.” Lance grabs another apple and smiles and they both know it was not what Keith meant.  
Keith starts paying more attention to Lance. To his words, his body, the way he flows through a crowd, the way he laughs even if it isn’t funny, just to make Pidge feel comfortable, the way his fingers are always active. Keith wishes he could feel them on his body, tracing down his spine. But there is no chance and so he just keeps watching. 

“It’s getting kinda annoying you know?” Lance looks away from the sky and at Keith. Keith is startled. He had been looking at Lances hands playing with his bracelet.  
“Huh?”, he asks.  
“You don’t need to worry. I won’t go off any minute.”  
“Huh?”  
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know. You have been staring at me ever since that night in the garden.”  
“I don’t….”  
“Yeah you do.”  
“I mean yeah… but that’s not.”  
Lance looks at Keith and his eyes are cold. Cold and distant and his mouth is a straight line and he looks angry. “I don’t need your pity Keith.”  
“It’s not...” Keith tries to say again. He tries to explain. That he just wants to know Lance, that he wants to absorb everything he is able to give, that he paints a picture in his head and it gets prettier every day, that he should have known about the attacks, he should have known, but he didn’t. And now, now he wants to know everything. But the words stumble over each other before they can get out of his mouth and he doesn’t know what to say.  
“If you can’t treat me like a normal person, maybe we can’t be friends anymore. I am sorry. But I don’t want to be treated like a doll. I just…. can’t take it” Lance doesn’t look at him anymore. He looks straight ahead. And Keith is quiet. He is quiet and in his head he is screaming.

Keith doesn’t go to parties anymore. He stays in his room. “You can’t hide forever.”, Pidge says. Watch me, Keith thinks and stays quiet. He still sees Lance, in his classes. Sometimes Lance turns around and catches him staring. He furrows his brows then. They don’t really talk anymore. 

“I’m coming home.”, Keith says. “What?”  
“I’m coming home, Shiro.”  
And so he does. He goes home for a month. He goes back to the garage. Pidge calls and says she misses him. “You can come and visit.”, Keith says and goes back to work. He forgets about blue eyes. He forgets about college. He is running now.  
“You have to come.”, Pidge says, “It’s my birthday.”  
“Maybe.”, Keith says and goes back to work. Shiro watches him. He is worried, Keith knows that.  
“I miss you.”, Pidge says. He didn’t go to her birthday. “Just come visit. We can stay inside all day.”, she says. “Ok.”, Keith says.  
It’s not a long drive. Pidge is jumping up and down when she sees him. “There you are you big grump.”, she says and hugs him and Keith smiles. They go for coffee and Pidge talks about classes and work. They don’t talk about Lance. 

Keith goes back eventually. He gets a new dorm room and a new roommate. He goes back to his classes, he meets up with Pidge, they talk. It is nice. He is not alone.  
But he feels lonely. Lonely and lost and small and when he sees Lance he hides in the masses.  
Because Lance is still there, and he is still radiant, all hands and smiles and blue eyes and it is getting colder now.  
Keith gets a new job in a small auto shop not far from campus. He can work with cars, it feels a little bit like home, it feels strange. But now he comes back home tired and can just fall into bed without thinking. It is nice. He is not alone. 

“You’re back.”, Lance says. He stands in front of Keith’s room, wearing a green jacket and gloves. His nose is red. “I’m back.”, Keith says.  
Lance nods and stays silent. He is still standing there, blocking the door and Keith wants to run, wants to hide, but he can’t. Blue eyes are holding him hostage.  
“You are.”, Lance says and stands up straight.  
“Lance, what do you want?”  
“Why didn’t you try Keith?”  
“What?”  
“I said we can’t be friends anymore. You didn’t even try. I thought you would. I mean, we were close right? But you didn’t even try to…. Am I too fucked up for you?”  
There is desperation, Keith can see it, sees the long fingers fiddling with the hem of the jacket, sees the nervous quiver of Lance’s lips.  
“Lance, I… I just… I don’t know.”  
I was scared, he wants to say, I was scared, it was all too much, I didn’t want you to hate me, I couldn’t stop looking.  
Lance sighs. “Where did you go?”, he asks.  
“Home.”  
“Why did you come back?”  
“I don’t know.”, Keith says. I don’t know, he thinks and he feels small.  
Lance sighs again. “Keith, can we be friends again? Can I explain?”  
Yes, Keith’s heart screams. No, his mind tells him.  
“You free tomorrow?”, he asks. Lance nods. 

They meet in a small cafe. It’s Lance’s favorite. It is small and cozy and full of people. They drink coffee and don’t talk much. Keith feels out of place. “I have a job now.”, he tells Lance. “I work with cars.”  
“That’s nice.”, Lance says and Keith wants to tell him about the oil and the sound of metal, the smell of new leather seats and cigarettes, He wants to tell him about his father.  
“You want to take a walk?”, he asks.  
They walk around campus. It is late, only a few people are still around.  
“I’m sorry.”, Lance says. Keith just looks at him. “I’m sorry I was so harsh. I just couldn’t take it. I’m damaged, but that’s ok. And I hate it when people….” He kicks a stone, he misses. “I had this girlfriend in high-school. We were together for two years. Her friends told me after graduation. She stayed with me out of pity. I don’t want pity Keith. I’m ok, you know?”  
You are, Keith thinks, you are more then ok, you are perfect.  
“It was just, after that night, after you saw me, you just looked at me all the time and I couldn’t take it, so I freaked out. I wanted to talk to you after canceling our friendship. But you were gone. I don’t know. You were gone for a whole month Keith. And I couldn’t even tell you.”  
“You are beautiful.”, Keith blurts out before someone can stop him, before he can stop himself.  
“What?” Lance stops and looks at him, big, big eyes, beautiful eyes, beautiful boy. Keith wants to cry. He fucked up and Lance just stands there apologizing. He gave up so fast, he couldn’t even talk to him.  
“You’re beautiful.”, he repeats and feel his voice breaking, “That’s why I kept looking. I just, you know, we were friends and I didn’t even know and I felt so bad. How could I not have known?”  
Lance face softens. “I didn’t tell you Keith. How could you have?”  
“But I should have.”, Keith yells, “I should have. I was so caught up in liking you, thinking I knew you in and out and there was like a whole part I was missing. It’s so stupid. I’m so stupid. And then you just canceled everything and I was so scared all I could do is run. Even now, you are the one to force me to talk, your are here, apologizing, while you had any right to be upset. And I am just… I’m just.” Frustrated, sad, disappointed, small, just Keith.  
“You liked me?”  
Keith looks up. Lance’s face is flushed. He is nervous. Keith sighs. “I like you Lance. I really do.”  
Lance squeaks. “Ok.”, he says.  
“Ok.”, Keith says.  
“And this is not out of pity?”, Lance asks. “No, it started way before.”  
“Ok.”, Lance says and his voice is way too high.  
“Are you sure?”, he asks. “Yes, I am sure.”  
“Ok.”, Lance squeaks. His ears are red too, it’s cute.  
“I like you, too.”, Lance says and Keith feels like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water in his face. “What?”  
“I like you, too. That’s why I was double upset. I thought I ruined all my chances, because my mind doesn’t work right.” Lance laughs. He is nervous, he is cute, he utterly and completely beautiful and he likes Keith.  
“Lance.”, Keith says and feels himself smiling. “Yes?”  
“I like you.”, Keith says.  
“I know, you just told me.”  
“I really, really like you.” Keith takes Lance’s hand and pulls him closer. He is smiling now. “You’re beautiful.”, he whispers and kisses Lance.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey  
> Thanks for reding.  
> I'm not really sure about the ending.  
> If you have thoughts about it, please share.  
> Anyway... :)  
> Thanks again  
> -Missy


End file.
